Is it just me... or..?

It's easy blogging about things on Second Life because there are an infinite number of trends to point out as completely retarded.  Here is the newest one.  I have noticed this since I began playing SL and I continue to notice it more and more:

Cam/voice/age verified ~*~*~*~*

Well.... ok... first off.. I don't know what to even say, it's just retarded. It makes no sense.  I'm assuming this quote (since it's in your profile), is meant to be information directed at those who don't know you and are first learning about you.  How are you verified?  And what does that meant to anyone?  You aren't verified and it means nothing, except that now you have about 20 less characters of symbol font in your 1st life section.... which is probably used to write that angsty defense of the real life you claim to have and refuse to share.

Just because you talked on skype with a friend once and they heard your voice, doesn't mean anything to me.  Even if there was some universal Second Life accreditation system for proving that you... have a voice?.... what does that mean to me? still nothing unfortunately.  I know that I could pose as a female if that was what floated my boat.. voice changer, symbol font, and everything else that makes someone a female on SL.  So I don't put it past anyone else to be able to do the same...

As for age verified, yeah you can "verify" your age with Second Life.  This unfortunately, also means nothing beyond the fact that LL now lets you teleport to adult sims if you are 18.  And even that is a "set it and forget it" kind of deal--they do not store your age information.  I've learned that this is the extent of what age verifying means... any random 0-day-old avatar can still report you for being underage and your account (all avatars) will be put on "administrative hold" indefinitely until you take action.  After this happens, you are required to submit further proof of your age, including a government issued ID (photocopy).  This must be done for each avatar made on the same system/e-mail account as the one who was initially reported, and in my experience, the ticket was not acknowledged by LL until multiple tickets were submitted and set as related cases by using reference numbers, etc... idk... It was a pain and my original avatar was unavailable for nearly 3 months before I got it back.  And on top of that frustration, LL does not save the ID information after the ticket case is closed and therefore this can happen immediately again, potentially.

If you find yourself in situations where it seems appropriate to declare that you are verified, chances are you are surrounded by people who ARENT your friends--hence the questioning of whether you are a lie, and needing to prove you are verified as the gender you claim to be... or whatever the reason.  It all goes back to my original theory: leave the sassy bitchy stuff out of your profile.  You aren't that cool and everyone knows it so save me the effort of deciphering your symbol font and just be nice--it's the most effective way to avoid being reported or accused of being the wrong gender/child avi in the first place...


You aren't that hot

For some reason, once a girl in second life gets her first neko tail and curio skin, things go downhill from there as far as modesty is concerned.  Maybe it's just me but I think the statistics seem pretty solid that most of these said females are overly cocky and into themselves and I'm definitely not feeling it.  The main thing that annoys me is the "disclaimer" reading something to the effect of: "IMs and chat are logged and I reserve the right to distribute how I feel necessary."

Okay.. well after hearing you blab in your redneck voice on mic, I guess I'm impressed at the mediocre grammar improvement found in your sassy profile, if you can even decipher the symbol font/code that it's all written in.  But... writing a disclaimer that states you are allowed to do something that goes against TOS does not in fact give you that right.  Believe it or not, you can still be reported (and potentially banned) for sharing IM conversation.  If anything, having that sentence in your profile only helps toward getting you banned when someone reports you for it.  Not to mention, it's just lame and comes off just as conceited as the rest of your profile which is laden with sassy quotes about how hot your avi is... and then a similar quote in the first life section, elaborating that you are just as hot and/or an "I'm hotter than you" kinda statement.  Even if the statement is true, I've lost all interest by now anyway.

Something else to note:  Even if your avatar is as hot as you claim, that doesn't mean someone else will agree.  I know who one of the hottest female avi's is on SL.  It's the avi I created... because I created it to look how I like.  And I doubt she looks anything like you!  In my opinion, it takes a nerd who is artistic and has a good attention to detail to create a nice avatar.  Unless your that one hot, tanned, fit, tattooed, pornstar-looking babe in real life who also happens to play second life in between all the GTL time.  If I find that girl, I'll take back all I said!  Or at least I'll change the title of this blog post from "You aren't that hot" to "you aren't really that hot" which I think puts less emphasis on the word 'that'... but anywayzzzzzz


Brookelle with BANGS. Get those cutty cut bangs!

Ok.. it's the Brookelle hair, but with a different BANG opshunz LOL.  Go and buy them all!!!  Also, I'm working on a new hair and I'm pretty pumped about it so get ready and buy your Lindens now.

I'm doing the "For the Love of Fall" hunt starting November 7th!  Sneak exclusive peak for anyone who actually reads my blog *looks around the empty room* (2nd picture below)


Now YOU can be a true OG like me!

Relive your childhood dreams of murkin' haters as a gangsta goon!  Kill Count Tears tattoo comes in 4 variations: tears under both eyes or under the left eye only--in 2 shades each.

This item is sure to silence the sideline haters.


Brookelle Hair Released!

I released my first thing!  Girl hair!  Currently available in five color packs:

Greyscale Pack (black, granny & chalk)
Browns Pack (soil, redwood & nougat)
Blondes Pack (golden, biscuit & bleach)
Ginger Pack (butternug, pumpkin & gingerbaby)
Cotton Candy (purp, hotpink & momoiri)

This is the first hair I have attempted; more colors should become available soon, as well as a pack containing all the colors at a discount.

Stretched Ears coming soon!

I made ears XD.  Wanting to make stretched ears is what inspired me to learn to sculpt.  Definitely not the first stretched ears in Second Life but, at least from what I've seen, they are the first with a tragus.  How can you have a tragus piercing without one?!

Basically I am in need of a pretty complicated script for a HUD that I have in mind, and so far I've heard nothing back from any scripter after giving out my notecard of explanation.  (rant warning)  It seems that being a "script god" doesn't really mean you KNOW ALL--more like, one time you modified a script to make an object rotate faster than it rotated before your skills were applied.  So If you're reading this and know of someone who is capable of writing a somewhat advanced HUD script, please contact me in-world :D.

Raw House Policy & General Information

Refunds & Redelivery
All items sold as no transfer are nonrefundable.  If for whatever reason you need a purchased item to be redelivered, contact me in-world by IM with the transaction information from Secondlife.com ready.  If I am offline or do not respond, pass me a notecard with a brief explanation and the transaction information.


That noob is TOTES jeal' about my hawt neko avi...

If this is the first thing you're reading off my blog, you should know that I hang at infohubs frequently--where 40+ year old gothicatz dudes and neko-vampires reign supreme and the noobs flow like wine.  There is almost NO instance where a noob (meaning they haven't progressed beyond the comb over hair and primless 3-piece suit), can approach one of the said GothiNeko vampires and recieve a favorable response.  Since when did recieving a compliment become so offensive.  At best, the noob will recieve a "...oh... thanks" or a more positive reply laden with sarcasm.  More commonly they will be shunned as a pervert and at least one gothidude will take it upon himself to use his brash uppercut that he keeps attached religiously.... like his currently invisible prim dick that you will see if you "highlight transparent".

It's true that a good number of new folk will turn out to be looking only for sex, especially if they are from south america.... for some reason.  But on the other hand, this guy with one pixel shoe and no hair might be the coolest person you have met in your 4 years of loitering around infohubs.  You will never know if you are close minded.  You cannot expect someone who has just downloaded and is playing SL for the first time ever to respect what you have come to believe are the correct ways of behaving in the game.

It is common for a younger person to act that way actually, in my opinion.  Not necessarily just because of immaturity or "ignorance", but because of social norms.  An example that comes to mind are dating websites.  My Dad joined eharmony and he openly talks about it with friends and family and its pretty much normal, and a lot of them use those sites as well... but if someone my age joins and doesn't play it off as "I'm just joining this b/c my friend did or something lol," its not really accepted as a cool thing to do.  Same goes for Second Life, where there is as much of a "dating" component as gameplay... and I can't speak for everyone, but where I come from, dating and having sex in a video game isn't something to brag about really.

I believe this is the case, and combined with the fact that everyone online on SL is coming from somewhere else around the world, where moral and ethical standards differ, I think people should be more tolerant of this kind of thing.  And chances are, even if someone really is only 16 and not looking as cool as your avatar at the moment, they probably DO know more than you about computers if you're 40.  Having been addicted to Second Life for 4 years, believe it or not, doesn't make you good at computers even if you learned how to use $20 worth of what Photoshop can do to edit a picture of your avatar.  If a 16 year old decides to get into SL and improve their avatar, I give them a week to a month (depending on how they network) to look better than you.  Two weeks later you forget about them and IM their hawt avatar saying they are sexy and they remember you and tell you you can suck a big one.  Then you realize they have more friends than you at YOUR infohub... which will inevitable lead to your threats of quitting SL and losing more friends who aren't feeling your bipolarness and your dramatic ways.

Side note:  Putting "no drama" in your profile doesn't mean shit.  It takes two people to make drama and if you're involved in it, you're just as much to blame--if not more, since you have a comment about it in your profile now.


I know you're talking about me and I DONT LIKE IT

I have had a few people now question me about my blog posts--or just go ahead and assume--that I must be referring to them personally.  To everyone who thinks this: I think you are completely missing the punchline/moral of my posts.  Just because I'm standing near you and one or all of my posts about my stereotypes fits you, does not I was intrigued enough by you to devote 10 minutes to writing about it.

Furthermore, just because you're wearing a curio skin or gothicatz costume or sell shapes and template clothing doesn't mean I have something against you.  As a matter of fact, I think curio makes one of the best skins in SL... but so do 90% of the females who get to the point of spending money on Second Life--and yes that includes you, emo-hipster wannabe curio-wearer with a "unique" shape... and the extent of "unique" being: farset, squinty eyes and broad but tiny nose with massive lips. LOL.. got a little of topic there!

Anyway... I just wanted to clear that up.  The point of my blog is for me to be able to vent, and I exaggerate my opinion in an attempt to make it comical.  No post is aimed at a single person; my goal is to knock people down who are too high on themselves about something that really isn't that impressive.  You don't see me bragging about looking better than everyone! (except in that one post... but that doesn't count).   Maybe I'm a hypocrite.  Maybe I'll get naked at an infohub so people will YELL at me and tell me how I am probably 12 and probably had a rough life as a child and dropped out of school.... because its so freaking absurd that a sane human being would EVER THINK of taking all their clothes on a video game, if only to interrupt the current local topic of pixel weddings and prim babies.  And yes, video game.  I know you can talk.... yeah, I know.. interact.... uh huh... you can do that on World of Warcraft too... and pretty much every other video game...


Oh btw.. I'm quitting SL.

I'm not quitting and neither are you.

There are so many things in SL that intrigue me.  Intrigue is probably too dramatic of a word considering the topic at hand...  I think it's funny how often people threaten to quit Second Life every time they are in a bad mood, there is a minor disagreement, someone talks behind their back, etc (so basically everyday).

All the cool people do it; so hip right now.  If you want to try it yourself, here is a template you can use whenever someone [or something] makes you feel like you're not in the pixel spotlight.

You: "Umm, just thought you should know, I'm quitting SL."
PPL: "Why?"
You: "Im just sick of the drama. [insert overly dramatic explanation of what just happened]"
*next day*
(Log back in and use excuse that you are starting fresh and make some drastic claims about deleting your whole friends list and/or some folders of shoes)

The cool thing is you can reuse this everyday.... anytime someone says something you disagree with.


U have teh sexy voice! WA WA WEE WA

You can never really tell who is hot or not just by their avatar, but once you hear their sweet, sultry voice, you know they have to be hot.  Because everyone with a hot voice is hot in RL according to this guy wearing a gothicatz costume, and he was from New Zealand so he would probably know something like that for sure.

Usually I hear girls comment on guys' voices as being sexy when they are deep and groggy-sounding.  So maybe this means they look like Vin Diesel in real life?....  I'm gonna go out on a really short limb and argue that he probably doesn't.  I've researched this subject for a few years and believe it or not, the only valid assumption one can make about a deep voice is that they dude has probably been sitting in front of his computer (just like you!) for days and hasn't lost the morning grogginess that he woke up with 4 days ago when he first logged on.  I can't officially comment for girls, but for me, my voice gets deeper if I've been vegetated in my computer chair for a good length of time, and that kind of lifestyle makes it hard to look sexy in RL.  But honestly it's not really a huge deal because gothicatz is always around the corner, whipping up new costumes--and if you're lucky, maybe you will show up to the infohub wearing the newest one first and everyone can admire it for 5 minutes before they go buy it themselves.

I haven't noticed much of a trend for female voices. I have seen sexy voices on RL ugly people and vice versa, more often than not.  I will say this (to the guys), don't let yourself be tricked by a super cute voice.  Sure you have seen a real life picture, but somehow... some way... I'm almost positive that I've seen that picture on myspace before--or at least it was pretty similar: face drowned out by bright light and camera angle that makes 250lb people look 100lbs.

I'll share a secret with you (you're welcome):  When you see a picture of someone with a bright light on their face, it hides any type of blemishes and slims the face--sometimes quite drastically depending on the picture and shadowing.  Another thing to watch out for are bright, unrealistic colors. This is a sign of another common way of "quick photoshopping" a picture: boosting constrast/saturation.  It makes skies bluer, skin tanner, and pock marks invisible!  If you notice any of these things, I'm not saying it is a given that the girl must be ugly, I'm just saying be careful.

Last but not least, I would like to officially announce that people who eat and slurp their drinks on mic are disgusting.  No, I'm not "giving you a hard time," I am dead serious.  I think this is something that you should be able to report and result in a permanent ban.  Maybe that's a little extreme... or maybe hearing you smack that macaroni and choke that corndog down your throat in HD sound quality is more repulsive to me than seeing a naked avatar in a PG sim.  Do everyone a favor and turn off your mic.  NOTHING is so important to talk about on SL that you can't take a 5-minute break to eat or slurp your coffee.  Of course this is just my opinion, but I think this should officially be made into a reportable offense.

Emo hair & gothicatz costumes

One of my ultimate pleasures on SL is responding to angsty IM's by Curio/Friday wearers.  You can find them at your local emo store (buried).

Expected IM scenario:
Bitch: "Umm. Who are you. Do I like know you?"
Guy: "lol I guess not, I don't come here often.  Anyway, how are you :)"

Raw dude IM scenario:
Bitch: "Umm. Who are you. Do I like know you?"
Jay: "What kind of question is that.. I'm just a nigga fixin' to buy me some emo hairs."
Bitch: (Is typing...) -- (not typing) -- (Is typing...)
Jay: **X's out window**

I'm definitely not a fan of people who are cocky in SL because of their avatars.  You can troll me all day and talk about my mother and how I'm probably 12 years old and probably didn't have any friends in school, but nothing pisses me off than an over-inflated ego.  Coincidentally these type of people always look the same and are easy to avoid, which is why I like to hang out in an infohub where the curio skins and friday hairs are less commonly seen, and the trolls flow like wine: Moose Beach Infohub.

However, today when I was standing in the middle of everyone spamming fart noises, I had an epiphany.  I  was camming in circles around my avatar with the others blurred into one boring backdrop when I realized,  I am better than these people avatar-wise [probably].  I even considered teleporting to curio in hopes of finding a new bootylicious skin for guys. But seriously, my avatar looks like some badass baller out of a new Grand Theft Auto game thats not even out yet for xbox 360.... and these other people look like they came from nintendo 64.  Forget the fact they are all wearing gothicatz costumes and roid-monkey guido skins, every shape in the vicinity is hella bobo!  I understand you want to look manly and strong, but its hard not to notice that when you slide the muscles level up to 100, it wacks out your body and makes you look like a beefcake troll.  Thats just a start on the problem though.  And btw, if anyone from Moose Beach is reading this, no, I'm not talking about you... I'm referring to everyone else in gothicatz costumes only... ye...yeah... yeah I know you have other outfits too... ok great. BAI~*


Don't troll me bro! (how to beat a troll)

The only thing I dislike more than a troll is their victim.  My rule of thumb is if the avatar bothering you is only a few days old and/or dressed in a way that implies they don't care about their appearance, you don't have the upper hand.  Merely participating in a conversation with a troll is a no-win sitch... at best you will be in a rez area and have some tricky items that will knock around the troll and even make them crash (in which case you have just as much likelihood of getting your 1098 day old avatar suspended as the 0 day old troll).

Luckily for you, I have some super secret tactics that will help you deal with trolls and MAKE THEM PAY.

1.  Typically your troll alert should go off when you see a noobish looking avatar typing out random obscenities, spamming gestures and/or holding objects that someone with a 0 day old avatar would probably not have.  Immediately you should begin to assume that the person behind the computer is between the ages of 10 and 14 (as this is ALWAYS the case), and you will want to make your observation public in local chat.  This will accomplish two applaudable things: the 40+ year old women will become more likely to accept your offer to rez a prim child with them at your "home", the troll will ignore your accusation--commenting on your mother or sexual preference instead (which basically means you were right!...or else he would have argued it!).

NOTE: If you have read this far and haven't detected my sarcasm, I will be more clear: I am being sarcastic. In fact, at this point you have basically volunteered to reserve an hour or more of your time to defending you prim baby/pets/home, RL mom, sexual preferences, and your pervy IMing ways.]

2.  Once the troll's attention is on you, you should feel empowered.  As well you should!  You're wearing an entire outfit from Gothicatz and a ripped up, oiled skin from Unique.  Nothing is more intimidating to a troll than a juiced out, freshly oiled, guido nightclub-appearel-wearing, hot-headed, 47 year old nerd from Australia or England!  And by now you should have at least one or two bitter infohub locals proudly backing you up.  This step isn't even a step because you already know you rule.

3.  [1 hour and 45 minutes later]  So some back and forth dialect has been exchanged between yourself and the troll by now--empty insults, threats, mom jokes, brash uppercuts and the like.  You are still winning because you still have those bitter whores at your side, and there is no one else left at the infohub to say otherwise!  You're eyes are practically bleeding from the mixture of not blinking and being on the verge of crying for over an hour, and you're computer desk is piled with all of the beer bottles that you have been bragging about drinking all day (because apparently drinking alone at your computer is not only shameless anymore, but thought highly of).

You have already reported the troll as many times as he inferred that he fucked your mother, and he is still not banned! BUGGA! But don't lose hope, there is still a solution.  You will want to modify your strategy to being overly and sarcastically agreeable with the troll, and even laughing at his obscene gestures that he has been spamming the entire time.  They previously pissed you off beyond belief, but now that you are laughing at them, the troll will surely be caught off guard.  Either that or he will call you out for the 100 times you announced publicly that you "muted and derendered" him.  Everyone knows that no one mutes anyone! But still...

(in progress...)


Weak Bitches

Bad attitudes are hip... apparently.  Lets get something straight, there is a difference between being 'honest' and being a bitch.  90% of bitches I meet that I DONT befriend have something about being honest or blunt in their profile.  I think its safe to assume, that in my age range and younger, this phrase translates to "I have no filter on what I say and I will tell you if I think something is ugly if only to make myself feel better".  Being 'honest' doesn't justify being an angst-filled teenager with a dirty mouth.  You still suck.  This doesnt just apply to girls.

Insulting a stranger's clothing or lifestyle choices is not respectable in any way.  I'm not sure if this is even making sense to anyone not already thinking the exact same thing as I write this, but what I basically mean is: dont say anything if you dont have something nice to say.


CHEAT CODES for free friends! (Rant)

K guys, I'm going to teach you how to make friends on SL.  Its surprisingly easy to be cool on SL when you make sure to stick to a few guidelines I have formulated:

1. BE A CREATOR!! - This one is almost mandatory, which is why it comes first on my list.  Automatic respect points, no doubt.  And don't get me wrong, you don't have to actually make things people would buy to be able to claim you're a creator... just make sure you have a general understanding of how to use position, rotate, etc, and then throw something in your profile about it.  For extra points, make up a hip name for a store and saying its "coming soon."

2. DEFAULT PICTURE - Have a heavily photoshopped picture is necessary.  One of the best tips I could give you that a lot of "cool" people forget to follow, is: always make your own picture and always "photoshop" it.  By photoshop, I don't mean you actually USE photoshop.... I mean you use picnik.com (or similar) and up contrast and saturation.  Using all of their free effects only helps as far as street cred is concerned.  The last and most important step is to put a line in the 2nd life text box that says "profile picture by [you]" and then advertise underneath about how you can make profile pictures. Give credit where credit is due... when its due to yourself at least.

3. LEGIT PROFILE - 2nd life tab, first line [if it's not your imaginary store name or sassy checkbox row about being single or taken], you need to write "IMs are capped".  Maybe you're IMs don't get capped? Who cares... no one will question it because you are a CREATOR.  Either way, the fact that your IM's would get capped implies that you are too popular/important (even when offline) for SL to handle your message load. But lets be serious, you are never offline so its really not an issue; its all about appearances.

This next one is tedious, but it has to be done sometime right?  You don't have anything better to do so lets get started.  If your "picks" section has actual landmarks to places you like, delete them all right now.  Picks in SL is for listing your friends (not necessarily your best friends, but those with the best pictures/avatars).  Feel free to be extra generous using different symbols from all different font types--the more the marrier!  The point of this section isn't ACTUALLY to give credit to your friends or have legible words, the point is to make whoever is viewing your profile develop as many questions as possible (better chance that they will IM you asking for tips--btw, read on to my IMing bullet point before attempting to communicate back with one of these people).  Also, definitely don't forget to add a pick for your store.

1st life tab.  This tab isn't as important.  It's not really important at all....  everyone on SL who isn't trolling has an avatar that is more attractive than their real self.  However, adding something here that SHOULDN'T go here can make this section more important than it should be (in a bad way).  The safest thing you can put here is a quote to the effect of "SL and RL do not mix" or "*.:.tHis iS As cLoSe aS YoUr GonNa GeT**:..".  Putting up another picture of your avatar in the 1st life section is a good way to help people forget about 1st left and there is less of a chance they will think to ask if they can see a picture.

4. INFOHUBS - Infohubs are great places to stand and wait for people to be impressed be your profile.  Chances are, none of these people are as hot as you (even if they really are)... because lets face it, you wear Curio skins and Fri.day hair and thats about as hot is it gets, therefore EVERYONE will be impressed by you.  In general, you are always going to want to put up a front and act like you are too busy to actually hold a conversation.  This accomplishes a few key things: It won't reveal the insecurity level that is not up to par with your avatar's appearance, it will lower the chances of someone asking for a RL picture, and it makes people wonder if you're adding a new shape or freebie template t-shirt to your "store".

For those of you who feel to need to participate in local chat, make sure you first get a feel for the popular opinions and make sure what you say will be along the lines of what most people will agree with.  Most times, you can just repeat what someone smart just said in slightly different wording and people will respect and offer the same sentence, typed out in yet another new wording.  This is perfect for getting ideas on how to be successfully social in the future. For example:

SMART GUY: If someone plays the same gesture 3 times, I mute them.  It gets rather mundane...
YOU: I can't stand gestures. I mute and derender people who spam them.
OTHER SMART GUY: Gotta love the mute feature!
SMART GUY: Mute is my best friend :D Anyone who doesn't use Emerald is a noob and idiot.
JAYY MOTHMAN: Hey will you all kindly shut up please. No one cares.

(at this point you are going to want to stop typing, and probably teleport away. Use this tactic generously in any situation that may turn ugly are draw attention to yourself by someone who will call out your bullshit)